By PJ Pereira*
 
Since the long overdue debate around violence against women got traction, parents have been asking me for advice on how to get their little girls to learn to defend themselves. Teaching women to fight is far from a real solution for our society’s rape-culture problem but, at least on the individual level, it may help – either by teaching them how to get out of violent situations or creating clear signs of physical confidence that will make some predators think twice. 
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I’ve been teaching martial arts to women for a while now. It’s fun, but sometimes very disheartening. Most of my female students tell me they wanted to learn to fight when they were kids, but their parents said “it was a boy’s thing.” That’s the first part of the problem, and an easy one to fix: don’t be those parents.

​Other issues I’ve empirically observed start at how uncomfortable my female students usually are with rough, physical contact. They can’t stand causing any level of pain. They get psychologically shocked when they get hit. Most of all, they lack confidence. The idea they can survive a fight with a stronger man is unfathomable for them. That's what they've heard their entire lives, after all. Good news: all those issues are the base of every martial art in the planet. Let them start early, and they may have the chance of not even developing those erroneous feelings. It will make learning much easier for them.
 
If you are a parent of a little girl and is on board with this plan, just doesn't know how to get started, here’s my advice:

1. Don’t wash fighting action away from their world. Let them see martial arts as something natural. Movies and tv shows can do a lot for that. From Dreamworks’ Kung Fu Panda to Netflix’s Kicking It, and even some super hero flicks, there are lots of good entertainment that touches this subject without slipping into dumb violence while showing they need no prince to save them.
2. Since young age, wrestle and tumble with them. Schools wisely tell kids not to play rough for safety reasons, but at home, parents should be able to do it with care. From pillow fights to wrestling in bed, to getting them to escape the tickle monster or simply laying on top of them and force them to escape, make them understand a size difference doesn’t mean they can’t win, and that physical pressure and discomfort is ok.
3. If they show any interest early, find a nice school with lots of other kids and teachers that make them feel like they are playing. Until they are 7 or 8 at least, the hard discipline of martial arts may turn them off too early.
4. When they reach 12-13 years old, make them join a class and stick with it. Truth is: in today’s world, one in five college women will be victims of some sort of violence, learning to defend themselves is like knowing how to swim for younger kids. It’s a life skill. If they join at that age and stick with it, by the time they go to college, they are likely to have an advanced degree and be able to handle almost everyone.
5. Look at different styles; try different things. There is not such a thing as a better style, just the one that suits you better. If you live in a big city with lots of choices, experiment. For younger kids, 11 or under, I would start with big, physical styles like Taekwondo, Karate, Capoeira or Northern schools of Kung Fu, with their high kicks and punches and jumps; or maybe gentler but smart styles like Judo. Later, after 12, more intense methods like Boxing, Muay Thai, MMA, compact styles like Wing Chun, Jet Kune Do, Krav Maga or more complex ones like Aikido and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu can be added to that list. More than picking a style, though, chose the nicer, more balanced instructor that enjoys working with kids.

 
No matter if an early or late starter, all women I know that spent time to learn a fighting system became a fierce, impressive, confident fighter that can defend herself against much bigger opponents using technique and intelligence. Following these tips will give them the chance to focus on the fun part much quicker, cause they won’t have to unlearn the fear. As a side benefit, they will also develop a sense of confidence under pressure that will help even more in this misogynist world.
 
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* PJ Pereira is a martial arts instructor with 20 years of experience and advanced degrees in Shao Shin Hao Kung Fu, Wing Chun and Shorinji-Ryu Karate.

​Within a week of him completing the basic Wing Chun curriculum for free chi sao and actively participating in it, the next Karate class began. From the moment Luke stepped into the ring, there was an apparent difference. He kept his elbows down and in, and most importantly, after an exchange to where he attacked, he was able to cover his center line without any trouble, and could nullify his opponent's counter attacks. No more painful round houses to the ribs, and an ability to instantaneously interpret and respond to multiple rapid attacks in a way he could not even do a short two weeks before. I saw him leave the Dojo that night with a distinct feeling of accomplishment. This made me very happy as a teacher. I remember my early days of always being pitted against superior opponents, and I was constantly having to learn from my mistakes. This kind milestone was definitely one that he will remember.

Moving beyond fixed drills
What chi sao ultimately does is free us from fixed drills that lack an aliveness aspect. While fixed drills are great, and provide much needed foundational work for students, they can pose a problem at times. Too many fixed drills sometimes can lead to the undesired effect of where the practitioner becomes too mechanical and rigid in an offhand situation, leaving them unable to adapt to a different position. Chi sao fills the gaps in between fixed drills, providing the necessary fluidity, and spontaneous adaptability needed to change in real time. The practitioner learns to flow effortlessly from one situation to the next, without a break in movement principles or technique. 

Conclusion
Chi sao has had very strong influence on my training methods, and changed the way I teach fighting drills altogether. What I do these days is give rather simplistic fighting application drills to my students that they can remember and apply under pressure. As I give these out drills, it relieves me of the need to create all kinds of elaborate alternate escapes and counter scenarios. Because of the sensitivity gained from their chi sao training, they are able to adapt if they make a mistake, or they can continue to another method if their partner attempts to thwart their technique. It allows the student to grow and fill in the blanks according to their experience, and no longer enslaves them to fixed mechanical responses that have very little recourse beyond their specialty.

Although Wing Chun is probably the style best known for using chi sao extensively, many other styles use it to the same effect as well. Southern Preying Mantis uses it, Bagua Zhang has Rou Shou, Taiji Quan uses Tui Shou, etc. I encourage all martial artists of any style to explore the idea of chi sao, and tailor it as needed to their system. It has the potential to bring new life to your existing drills, and gives a certain ability to interpret seemly mysterious parts of classical martial arts forms into practical and sensible fighting applications. It truly is a jewel as a training method, one that I hope all Martial Artists can benefit from.

As a martial artist, one of the most important aspects of our lives is how to balance our training properly. Getting the most from our regimens, maintaining our health, getting sufficient rest, and injury avoidance and recovery is paramount. Understanding how to train in a balanced way has to do with a proper attitude, and sound underlying principals of how the body works. After a lot of research, trial and error, I have found in my years of training and teaching, some
basic guidelines that have served me 
exceptionally well. 

Training for Martial Power:
There are countless methods for developing power in the Martial Arts. Whatever method you choose, I strongly encourage you to seek out a regimen that emphasizes full body power. They produce results much more quickly than conventional resistance/isolation type exercises. The methods I prefer for this are simple, and require no special equipment. More to the point, what I mean is that you should avoid any kind of exercise that isolates muscle groups, or dynamic tension. The body works as an interconnected whole. Using methods such as weights that focuses on one muscle group over another leads to excesses and deficiencies all over the body. Isolation strength exercises also lead to excessive muscle tension, which should be avoided. If you still feel weight training is beneficial (it can be when done properly), seek out an expert that understands the principal of full body power. Weighted vests that allow you use your whole body while training, or the Russian Kettle Bell are good examples of this.

Training under the 75% rule: 
When training, it is best to keep your enthusiasm in check. Proper moderation helps mitigate the possibility of getting injured, therefore it is wise to keep your efforts at 75% of your maximum capacity. This ensures a safe and productive training regimen, without excessive strain on the body. Once you get used to your 75% and it starts feeling like 65%, increase your efforts to what feels like 75% again. Steady progress is accomplished in this manner. If you want to push yourself to maximum performance for a tournament, or just because you want to be at your best, 90% effort is fine. You must first work your way up in strength and endurance, then give it all your effort. You must keep in mind however, that with increased activity that you will need more rest and recovery time. If proper measures are taken, training at 90% for extended periods of time can be quite beneficial.

Qi Gong/ Nei Gong:
Lastly, it is always a good idea to adopt a time proven nei gong system to round out your training. Methods such as the Eight Brocades of Silk, the Tendon Changing Classics, or the Fives Elements work very well. The meditative process they use are particularly beneficial to cool down at the end of a hard training session. They balance out the internal with the external, and enhance the overall relaxation of your body and mind.